Today is Spring Break Eve!  This past month and a half has been very difficult and I am looking forward to some “me” time.   My younger daughter is coming down from school Sunday evening and we are going to celebrate my older daughter’s 24th birthday.   I think this birthday is more meaningful because we almost lost her last month.  I really don’t have any other plans for break.   Maybe get in a run or two, get my taxes done, possibly paint my bathroom.  Doesn’t sound like anything fun but it is things that got pushed aside as not important these past few weeks.  I hope that everyone has a relaxing break (whenever yours is)!

It is 5:30 in the morning.   I’m in bed, willing myself to get up.   Then, my phone pings…..arriving text.   My phone, plugged into the charger in the next room.   Has something happened to my Mother?   No, my mind reassures me, my brother would call, not text.    Is it a teammate from work, will they be out today?   Possibly.   All sorts of scenarios go through my mind, most of them are not pleasant.    Wearily, I drag myself out of bed, dreading the outcome of this text.   Then, I look and laugh.   It is a joke, from my friend George.   What a great way to start my day!

Driving home from school today, heard a commercial for Alexa.  The key line was : “Alexa, read Bobby a book”.    It was actually proclaiming that you should have Alexa  to read to you child.  That it was so great!   How hard is it to read to your child?   My favorite memories from when my children were young involved reading to them…..every night.   Can Alexa snuggle with your child?   Can Alexa laugh at the funny parts?  (well, maybe it does…LOL)   Can Alexa make voices for the characters?  Does Alexa gasp at shocking parts, cry at sad parts?  Most importantly,  will Alexa discuss the book with your child?   Ask if they understand what they just heard?   Read favorite pages, over and over again?   Reading with/to your child is a privilege, not an annoyance!

It’s 3:00AM, I have no idea why I am wide awake.  Macklemore’s Good Old Days is running through my head.   Why can’t I sleep?  Is it………

• that large coffee (black with sugar) that I had at lunch?
• the fear of seeing yet another doctor today?
• OMG, tomorrow is Holly’s birthday, I didn’t get her anything.
• I have 2 IEP meeting next week, have to get everything organized.
• STILL hearing that song!
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yYV9-KoSUM
• could it be that I heard it multiple times on the radio today?
• Have to remember to make Eilish a lunch.
• Did I put in for those 2 half days next week?
• Again with that song!!!!
• Holy smokes, the song is on the Blue Cross TV advertisement.
• The medical bills are piling up.
• Got two checks from the insurance company, who knows why
• Younger daughter wants me to find her a doctor in Milwaukee that will take my insurance.  She lives 2 hours away and HATES talking to people on the phone.
• I have’t been running in a month.  Need to do that.
• Did I wash the dishes?
• Have to call Mom.
• The alarm goes off, it is 5:30.   Now I’m tired.   Time to get up for work.
• Get in the car to drive to work, AGAIN with that song!

We have received a ton of phone calls, texts, Facebook messages and/or emails since my daughter’s strokes last month.    I have also made a number of phone calls and sent many, many messages.   Friends and family,  all over this country and another.   Many, many phone calls to doctors offices, the hospital (who knew getting records would be such a pain), the rehab center, and the place that transports her to and from rehab.  Setting up appointments, getting test results sent from one hospital to another, the list goes on and on.  Yesterday, I called one of her specialists from before all of this happened.   Left a message on the nurse’s voicemail, giving the info, asking if we needed to get in to see him before our scheduled appointment in October.   I was expecting the nurse to call back.  She didn’t , the DOCTOR did.  He was very concerned about my daughter.   He asked many questions.   He decided we didn’t have to come in until October.   Then, he asked me how I was doing, was I taking care of myself.  HE called.

like a Monday.   Yesterday, we had the day off school.  Thank you Casimir Pulaski!   But now we have Tuesday like a Monday.   It is a Tuesday acting like it is Monday.   One of my co-teachers is going to be off sick.   It is cold and wet outside.   The news is showing massive traffic delays, at 6:15am.    Yes, it is going to be Tuesday like a Monday.

Quicksand?   Think about it.   My entire childhood, I was petrified of falling into quicksand.   I mean, Batman got stuck.   Most of Gilligan’s Island residents got stuck.   Even some prime time TV folks were trapped. I was afraid to go to the beach.    Now, nothing.   Did all of the quicksand magically disappear?   I need to know!

Also curious, how come there are no longer reports about things disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle?

• One month ago today, my 23 year old daughter had two strokes. Who has strokes at that age???  She is slowly recovering.   ❤ her!
• My younger daughter drove 2 hours today, just to spend some of her limited time with us.  She goes to university full time and has a full time job.  ❤ her!
• My friends are the BEST!   Checking in to make sure we are doing ok.
• My running friends are also the BEST!  Same reason.
• Even though I couldn’t run today, I went to the race and supported my friends that were running.
• My Mom who is 2 time zones away called me to tell me she needed $20, right now.   She gets really confused at times.  Not sure how she expects me to get it to her.  I texted my brother that lives 10 minutes away from her.
• A few months ago, Mom called me to tell me she needed cream and sugar.   Again, my brother lives 10 minutes away.
• Booked our AirBnB for a trip to Arizona for a family wedding.   Sometimes you just need a little something to keep you going.

Have a great weekend!

It’s been 3 years since you left us.   A lot has happened. You have gained a granddaughter.  You have lost a child.  I gained a kidney.  Mom moved to Chicago.  Mom moved back to Arizona.  Three years.   Seems like a long time.  Three years.   The pain is still there.   Miss you Dad!

February, that is.   February you are a short month but you have done great damage to my family.  You have not been kind.   But today, it is a new month, a new day, a new start.   We will have to live with the havoc February rained on us for quite some time.  However, we will survive.   We are strong.  We are Fitzgeralds!